I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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