The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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