You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
wakey wakey hands off snakey
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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