Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
