are you still at the devil's house?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
