fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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