Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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