Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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