I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
