im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
