Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
