How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
