perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
