we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
