May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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