Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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