We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
