you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
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And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
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Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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