better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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