Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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