I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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