she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
