Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
