i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
