I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
even my farts smell like vagina
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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