it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
areolas are like halos for boobs.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
