yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
