Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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