but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I smell like Dick and happiness
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