Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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