Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
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white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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