Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
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I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
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I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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