She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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