I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i just google imaged poop.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
