im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
