Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
