I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
