i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
