also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
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I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
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My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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