You work out of a Hotel?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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