everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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