I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
