dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
