Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize