She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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