why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
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He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
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Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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