I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
