We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
