trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
