It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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