Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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