Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize