She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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