im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
A+ Viking dick
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
