He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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