You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
