we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize