I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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