so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
