It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Let's get the cat blown out
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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